Thank you, Clay!

In all of my blogs, I believe I have neglected to write much about Clay. The spouse is often "the forgotten one" in a situation such as this. All focus is on the sick one. However, I believe that what they may be going through may be as hard, if not harder.

All sorts of things come into play in a marriage when one comes down with a life-threatening illness. The sick one is often depressed, moody, introspective. We who are sick go from not wanting to talk about the illness at all to not shutting up about it and letting it invade every conversation. Plainly, we are focusing all our attention and energy fighting the disease, while sometimes forgetting our spouse needs us also.

Roles have changed in that Clay has to be the nurturer. Imagine having to take over "mommy duties" while still having to make a living (think medical bills). "...when men become care givers, they often don't ask for the support they need because they may be too stoic,' said Betty Ferrell, a nurse-researcher at City of Hope National Medical Center in Duarte, Calif. Men 'really do feel the financial burden. They feel they must try to keep things normal, to keep going to work'.''

The spouse hurts too. I have tried my best to help Clay. To say that all of your prayers and words have encouraged me, please know I have, hopefully, shared it all with Clay.

In a popular hospital drama on television, a divorced man with children was dying and needed to make some major medical decisions. His ex-wife came in and helped him make this decision and spent all her time with him - not his current wife. When the major surgery was over and he lived and he was recovering nicely, the doctor was surprised to see the current wife, not the ex-wife, tending to him now. He inquired about this and the patient said: "There are those you want to live with and those you want to die with."

I choose Clay to live and die with!

Clay - I am so thankful God brought us together 15 years ago today. Happy Anniversary! P.S. Clay - I sent this blog out early this morning so you would have time to go shopping! :):)